I love my dad and I am totally aware of the Honor Your Father and Mother commandment, but when he suggested they drug-test my armpit hair, tried to grab it through my sweater, and then giggled and crushed me in a bear hug and wouldn’t let me go, I pulled his neck beard and I feel the angels, the ones with flaming swords, rejoiced.
Lord, hasten your coming; cleanse the Pennsylvania State Government with fire and flying burning rocks. Mom has been trying to get someone on the phone to talk about why exactly Nana’s Access card isn’t working, but she goes through these stupid automated hoops for five minutes then it says they’re experiencing a high volume of calls and please call back again, then it hangs up. At three on a Tuesday afternoon, at four, four-thirty, and six. Then again at eight Wednesday morning and again now. Now she’s trying different options just to get to a human and the automated voice is literally telling her to talk to her case worker. We don’t have a case worker. We just want to pay for Nana’s medication the way we’ve been instructed to pay for Nana’s medication, you bureaucratic asswipes. Oooh they really make it hard for people to get state-funded assistance, don’t they? I hate everyone. I hope the tribulation is extremely long and painful.